Sunday, June 29, 2014

2 Loves - It's Joyful and Complicated

So, I mentioned the last time I blogged that I had recently realized that I was in love with a man that I have known for a little over two years.  I have had and still do have many male friends and this is the first one I have found that I actually love as much as I love my husband.  And there is the rub.  If you have been following me all these years you can go back and you will find that I love my husband heart and soul.  We have really found ourselves to be soul mates.  So, when it hit me and let me tell you, it hit me, that I was in love with my friend Doc, well it threw me.  I had a couple weeks of complete and utter confusion going on in my heart and head.  I prayed and consulted a friend of my heart and I prayed.  I then told my husband and that in the end is what I should have done first.  He helped me put it all into perspective and in the end was so understanding it was such a relief.  He understands and also believes that it is possible to be heart and soul  in love with two people at the same time and has said that he will not stop me from following this through.  I was surprised, but so, so relieved that I had not caused any damage to our relationship and that I could continue my other relationship.

To most of you, I am sure you are saying...WHAT?????  But that is because we have been taught only about monogamy.  Created laws that don't allow people to even be married to more than one person at a time.  When marriage is an affair of the heart I don't understand where laws should come into play.  A license to get married???  Really???  As I said I did some reading on polyamory and I think one of my favorite items is from a blog titled Adventures in Polyamory.  I really liked how he put things into perspective in this blog post and I agree with so much that he says here that I really encourage you to read it, but I wanted to share my favorite line from the blog and I feel it really sums up how I feel about this in my life.  The female in his story states at one point that "love is not like a bathtub;somebody doesn't need to get out to make room for someone else."  I don't have to not love or leave my husband to be in love with Doc and act on that love.  I do however have to upfront and honest with both of them and that has been the easiest part because I love them both so much and do not want either to be hurt.

So, as I sit here typing this today, I am a very blessed woman to be loved by two wonderful men and for them both to allow me to return that love in kind.  I have three wonderful children that in no way will be hurt by this because in the end their mother is actually happier than she has been in awhile.  And it is not that I was unhappy with my marriage or my love with my husband, but that love was comfortable and I had other things going on in my life that I would allow to invade my happiness.  I am now learning to push that stuff back and enjoy the love that I have around me.

Joy and Peace to all.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Starting anew

Adoption finalized May 22nd.

Moved back to Georgia June 14th.

Realized I am heart and soul in love with a friend that I have known for just over two years.

Life is complicated, but it is all good.


Friday, June 6, 2014

New Stuff

We are now a family of 5!!!  As of May 22nd Alejandra and Kristian became ours!!

Izza is going on to 9th grade...unbelievable!!!  Where has the time gone!!  I remember the little 11 year old that came to my house 3 1/2 years ago, just wanting to be I have a loving young lady, with a teenage attitude.  :)  It is all good...just can't believe how quick it all happened.

So, now we are off to Georgia.  Going back home after 13 1/2 years.  It will be different...I am not the same person.  I have really grown since leaving that state at 31 years of age and traveling around the U.S. changing jobs, meeting new people, and growing spiritually in the process.
I think different than I did then...the things that were important than are not necessarily the same things that are important to me now.  I would surprise people with some of my beliefs...but may are private and I won't go into them here.
So, it will be interesting to see how my new family dynamic and the me that I have grown to be fit into my old world in the Augusta, GA community. 
Excitement abounds...a lot of work in the next week and a half...and a bit of nervousness to go with it...Stay tuned...