Christmas Already

I just can't believe it is that time already...tomorrow will be a year that Izza came to live with us...WOW!!  A whole year!!  She is such a different little girl from the one that came to my house a year ago.  She is so much more alive and so, so smart...everyday it is something new about her that just makes me want to smile and cry all at once...I want to do something special, but we are having to watch our money because we go on vacation next weekend...she does not know where we are going...I can't wait!!!  I can't even sleep!!!  Disney World...she won't know until we are driving in the gates!!  And I have her booked for a Bippity Boppity Boutique session with the full package!!  So, must watch the funds...but I think it will all be worth it once she is there...

We had our first family portrait done the weekend after Thanksgiving.  I was so excited for this...Look at her...she is gorgeous...We are so fortunate to have her in our lives!!

So, a year ago this is what my little girl looked like...tell me...doesn't she look like a completely different child now...it is kinda weird to me.

She got to go to her first ballet today and she loved it.  She, of course, saw The Nutcracker.  She is ready for after vacation to get back to her gymnastics and Special Olympics Basket ball.  I love it that she loves to do all of these things.  Though I am sure so much of it is because she never did anything before.

She had compound words for her spelling words this week.  I was really worried for her, but she says she did good on the test, though she did not bring it home like she usually does, but with all of the stuff going on at school today I guess that was to be expected.  We'll see on Monday I hope.

She will be singing on Sunday with the children's choir for the other children at church and then on Thursday she will be singing with her school choir.  She has been practicing for both for weeks, even singing at home.  I hope she does not get the stage fright like she had in October.  I have told her to look right at me or Daddy and sing to us if she gets nervous.  She loves to sing so I hope her love for singing overcomes her stage fright.

Well, I really should be in bed...just needed to share all of my happiness with the world.

Namaste.

Believing in yourself no matter what

"The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground.  -Unknown"

I am not perfect...I make poor choices at times...don't always eat right...don't always get all of my exercise in...but I know that I will be successful in reaching my target weight next year and gaining good health through the process.

120 Days Since Surgery

The last month has not been the best for me in the weight loss area, but I know what I have done and what I have not done and will fix that this month.  I did lose six lbs this month, but it should have been more.  I have eaten some things with a bit higher fat content and I have not been exercising the way I am supposed to on a daily basis.  Well, I know what I am not doing right so I will fix that this month.  I have picked up my exercise a little bit, but I have not gotten it where it needs to be, so I will do that this week.  I will be on travel for work so I will be able to work out at the hotel.  I also know what I am eating that I am not supposed to eat and I have already made those changes.  Again, with being on travel I will do pretty good with this because it makes no sense for me to buy food at a restaurant just for myself, so fat free refried beans will help me get through the three days on travel and get me back on track.

See, the sleeve surgery is not a miracle maker, it just helps you, you still have to make the right choices and exercise.

Well, here is my 120 day picture and I added a few pics I found from 2007 when I was taking before pics.

Stephie's Bariatric Living

Halloween 2011

Our town had a community carnival for Halloween.  So, we chose to go to that, donating one can good per person, and not do trick or treating.  It was a nice night and Izza had fun playing the games, dancing and getting in the jump house.  She got a moderate amount of candy that will fit in a lunch size paper plate, which is perfect as we restrict candy in our house.

It was a great memory for our first Halloween together.  Here are some pics...

Changes

My life has changed so much in the last year...

A year ago today I would probably have been watching TV for 2-3 hours each night.  Now we go many nights not turning on the TV until we go to bed and I am usually reading and he falls asleep in less than 30 minutes.  It is really refreshing.

Our evenings are busy with spelling words, playing games, reading alone or together, and preparing for the next day.  Then there are the days with special activities like gymnastics, special olympics, speech thereapy, and going to the gym. 

Then some weekends we have a lot planned like this weekend with Izza getting to go up in a private plane with Challenge Air Dallas.  Then we will all don our costumes, get our can goods for donation and entry to the Bedford Halloween event.  Sunday is family day at church and we will all be wearing our costumes.  A fun, busy weekend ahead.

I love my quiet weekends, and I believe Izza and Kerry do also, but it is nice to have these things to do as a family also.

I love all of the changes in my life and I would not go back for anything.  It is just amazing to me to take that look back and see how different things are for us now.  I knew things would change, but I guess until they happened I did not know how they would look or how they would feel.  I am here to say the picture is beautiful and the feeling is contentment.

Namaste my friends.

Eating a Frozen Entree

Okay, so today is the first day post op that I have eaten a frozen entree.  I needed something for lunch and as much as I love refried beans just did not feel like having them today.

So...

I had one frozen entree in the refrigerator that has been there since pre-op.  So, it was like two weeks from it's use by date.  Good thing I looked, huh?

It is an Eating Right, Chicken with Basil Cream Sauce (white meat chicken and spaghetti with the basil cream sauce.  An 8.5 oz serving with 280 calories, 7 g fat, and 19 g protein.  Not the best all around for me, but I could do worse.  I should have had more protein with the amount of calories and of course there was 550 sodium which is why I usually avoid these things anymore.

I was not sure if I could eat the whole thing so I brought a microwavable dish just in case, but it has taken me 30 minutes eatting slow the way I am supposed to and I did eat the whole thing.  I am full so my berries will have to wait for a couple of hours.  But I feel a little more full than I like so I probably won't do this again.  I usually eat about 4-6 oz of food in about 15 minutes.  I am guessing that eatting slower allowed me to eat more food.  Which is probably what I am supposed to do, but I have trouble with the slow part.

So, I do believe frozen entrees are out for me.  Just does not seem worth the calories, etc.

The learning never stops with this new way of living, eating, etc.

Namaste.

My Spiritual Life

Yeah, I guess a lot has happened in the last two months.  During the month of August hubby and I attended Wednesday night classes at the Unity Church of Fort Worth and decided to become members during the Membership Cermony and Spiritual Baptism on September 11th.

I also signed up to teach the 2nd-4th graders on the 3rd & 4th Sunday of the month.  I love it.  At first when I signed up I thought I might be getting a job in WV, but then this job I am in now was offered to me the day after I signed up and made a committment to teach through May.  Funny how things work out.  I had to the Youth Director that I did not feel comfortable signing up because I might get that job in WV and she wanted me to sign up any way...and then here comes the job offer that would keep me here.  Amazing, no?

Well, I love teaching the children.  I always have loved teaching those ages.  This year we are teaching virtues. I think that is an excellent subject for children and I love the format of reading them a story, discussing the story, and then doing a project that reflects what they learned in the story.

Sadly right after we joined the church we found out it was in turmoil.  Our whole board stepped down the Sunday after we joined, but we are back on track with a temporary board until the new board is elected in  mid-November.  This spiritual group has a lot of healing to do, but I believe we have some good people in place to help with that.  I don't regret joining them at all. 

I have been to a few things classes and seminars and it seems no matter who you talk to they all say the same thing.  That when they came to the Unity Church of Fort Worth they just felt like they had come home, to their Spiritual Home.  I would have to agree.

Well, enough of my sharing for now...

Namaste.

Gone to Long - - Again

Wow, I did not realize it has been so long since I posted...Life is busy with a child...who would have thunk it...Plus we joined the gym so that has taken up more of our time.

Well, the big news.  At last weigh in I was down 70 lbs...check out the last two pictures here:

Stephie's Bariatric Living

I am feeling really good, but having a tough time finding things to wear to work as I don't want to spend any money on clothes yet.  What a problem huh?

I started a new job on September 26th.  I am closer to home and am really enjoying the time I have with my daughter and husband in the mornings.  I am learning so many new things and believe I have made the right choice to go to the IT side of things with the VA and shedding my payroll/hr skin.

Well, that is all I have time for now.  I need to check in on all my wonderful blogging friends and will do that in the next couple of days.

Namaste.

Four Weeks Out

I am four weeks post op and on  my last week of pureed food.  I did not lose any weight on my first week of pureed and it had me a little down, but I am hoping it is just my body going through it's changes and learning how to deal with the new way that I eat.  I have an appointment with my gastric sleeve MD on Thursday so we shall see then how they think I am doing.

I am getting at least 30 minutes of walking/stationery bike a day and am starting to increase it a little here and there.  I need to get up to 60 minutes of exercise in the next 30 days.  I am going to look into a gym nearby that has a pool so that I can get back into water aerobics.

Hubby was supposed to take my pic on my 4 week date, but we got distracted and did not get it done.  Today is my 30 day mark so we will take it today.  You will be able to check it out at www.stephiezone.com and go to my gallery.

I am down 40 lbs from when I started my pre-op diet and I am down 26 lbs from the date of surgery so all in all I am happy with what I have accomplished so far...big goal right now...dropping below 300.  I have two more lbs until that goal is met!!  Oh, we were at Sam's last weekend and there was a 37.5 lb bag of dog food and I told Kerry, this is about what I have lost now and he lifted it...he was very impressed.  It made me feel good and it was unbelievable that that much weight is already off my bones.  You know they have to be heaving a sigh of relief.

Namaste my friends...

11 Days Post Op

I am 11 days Post-Op and have lost 15 lbs.  I had my staples removed today and am so, so happy!!  I can return to work tomorrow and am so ready for that also.

I have one more week and two days that I have to be on liquids than I get to go to pureed food for two weeks.  A person has never looked forward to pureed food as much as I am...

I have set my annual check-up with my regular doctor for four weeks from the date of my surgery which will be a good time to check vitamin levels, etc.  They checked them before surgery and everything was good.  Which is one up for me because obese people are often experience malnutrition because they do not eat healthy.  I on the other hand ate healthy 90% of the time, it was the 10% and not enough exercise that got me to where I was that finally made me make the decision to have this surgery.

I will be taking a picture at every 30 day mark and posting it on my stephiezone.com website so you will be able to keep up with the changes in me...

Well, hungry so I need to go get something to drink...time for a protein shake...yum...not...tired of them really...

4 Days Post Op

I am home and my parents have come into town to be with me during this first week of recovery.  I was able to go home the day after surgery, but they did not let me leave until like 7:30p that evening.  

I still have a bit of gas, which can hurt like the dickens when it is in my chest.  I know I am getting all of my fluids in that I need and I am getting 42g of protein, though only about 200 cals.  Today I was able to add some protein drinks so I was able to get some more calories.

It still hurts to take deep breaths, but I know that will just take time to get better.  And last night I kept coughing and that hurt a whole lot.

I will be so happy when the healing part is done...

Pre-Op Done...5 Days until Surgery

Yesterday I had my pre-op. It took a lot longer than it was supposed to...2 hrs compared to the 1 I was told it would be by Dr. Kim's office. 

I ordered my Journey Multi-vitamins and Pure Unflavored Whey Protein Isolate from Bariatriceating.com yesterday. And today I ordered a multi-flavored New Whey liquid protein from WholesaleSupplemementStore.com. I should have all these in the house when I get home so I won't have to worry about someone going out and trying to tell them what I want. 

I am excited about the New Whey because it has 42g of protein in a 3.8oz serving. I have read that some people will mix these with sugar free drinks of the same flavor to sip and get the protein throughout the day.

I also went and got my hair cut and colored today so I will feel good about myself that way. My parents will be coming into town from GA next Saturday to be with me that first week. I am so glad. It will take some weight off of hubby since he is always caring for our daughter and then I will need his help a little more to get up from a sitting position, etc. They can help me out and or our daughter. And maybe they can take our daughter to the water park or something.

I went to Bed,Bath and Beyond today to look for an insulated cup with a sipper lid. Found a great cup...did not look at the price...that is what I do when I want something and just don't care...probably should have...got home and saw that it was almost as much as what I spent on six insulated cups with a lid that holds a straw. While I was there I noticed they had lids that were sipper lids that might fit my cups so I bought one to try. The lid fit!! So, hubby is going back to get five more lids. I am going to keep my cup because I like the colors in it, but I won't be buying another one. The lids are 2.99. Much better than 16.99 for a cup. I bought a handle too, that fits on these 24oz cups so that will make it better for me carrying the cup on my commute on the train once I return to work. It has been difficult with my bag and the cup without a handle at times.

So, I think I have things pretty much in order for when I return. I forgot...I also got some EAS Advantage, which I had been drinking before the surgery as my nutritionist said I could have that after surgery also.

Now, come on surgery!! One bummer...my surgery is scheduled for 2pm!! No, nothing after midnight and no surgery until 2pm??? I love water!! I don't know how to go without it that long, but I know I must...

I will never diet again...

I have gone on and off diets my whole adult life. I was following the Adkins eating plan the longest...lost the most on Weight Watchers...found I was allergic to Nutrisystem foods...and all the time kept this yoyo thing going with my weight...

Well, diet should be how you eat all the time, not just when you are "trying" to lose weight. So, I have dedicated myself to doing just that changing my diet to a healthier way of eating in order for myself and my family to be healthy and live long active lives.

I am actually looking forward to recreating some of my favorite flavors into healthy options. I'll be sharing them on my personal website stephiezone.com once I get an opportunity to cook and eat again. My husband, whom is about 20 lbs heavier than he would like to be, is also looking forward to this change in our life. My daughter, luckily eats just about anything put in front of her and her favorite seems to be veggies and fish, so we are pretty set with her accepting what is put in front of her.

The closer I get to my surgery date and the closer I get to being able to cook again the more excited I get about life...join me...stop the dieting and change your diet for life...

Working through It

Well, I have been doing this my own way and being very anal about how I do it...I have allowed myself a meal here or there....well, if you can call it a meal.  This morning was a meal.  I made low fat mini quiche and had two.  So, this gives me 5 grams of fat today.  Yesterday I had some fat free refried beans with a tbs of light sour cream and a tbs of 2% cheese and salsa.  That gave me about 5 grams of calories also.  Some other nights I had just refried beans, fat free of course.  I have a really good dinner planned for the 4th, with chicken, sugar free baked kidney beans, spinach, and sweet potato hash browns.  The whole meal has 6 grams of fat.  That will be my last meal before my surgery, which is on the 14th, so I will have 9 whole days of liquids.  I have been really keeping my fat low when I eat so I am sure I am still doing what I need to to shrink this liver and take off a few lbs before the surgery.  I have not been eating every night, but found I just had to at times.  I feel good about how I have handled this...just could not go completely cold turkey to all liquid diet.  And once I have the surgery I will not feel the hunger like I have through some of these days leading up to it.

A Great Day

I am looking forward to having a great day...starting with my mind in the right place.

I know there will be challenges, but I plan on letting them happen and flowing with them, learning from them...

I hope you have a great day too!!

Ah, Needed this Weekend

I have done nothing except for make sure I am well this weekend.  I have been able to work out what works for me with my drinks and trying to not feel hungry so often.  I am getting better at it.  Though I have made a decision to do something that is outside of my docs orders, but that I believe is okay based on what another friend's doctor had her do pre-op.  She had two shakes a day and a weight watchers dinner.  I am having three shakes a day and a cup of fat free refried bean.  This way I get to have a little bit of substance and I am getting the protein without the fat, which is what the liquid diet is mostly about.  I am only going to do this through Wednesday, at which time I will be done with my first week.  I then will have three more weeks of liquid diet which will help accomplish the part that is to clean out my colon.  I do not believe one cup of fat free refried beans for five nights out of 21 is going to hurt me at all.  Our nurse told us that our doctor is quite conservative and I understand, but I was just too hungry.  The beans seem to help me.

Well, I am trying to get my clothes ironed for the week to make things easier on myself with my 4:30am wake up.  I'll up date once or twice this week to let you know how I am doing.

This is SOOO Hard

I am scheduled for bariatric sleeve surgery on July 14, 2011.

Yesterday I started my liquid diet that is to help shrink my liver and clear my colon.  The liver needs to be smaller so that I have a successful surgery.

I made it through yesterday, dealing with hunger.  Did not think about brining the sugar-free Jello.  Today is much harder.  I keep crying...I don't know why exactly other than I am hungry and forgot my jello after telling myself to bring it!!

I wish I had had enough leave to take off today, but I have to save all my leave for my surgery and to be off the week after.  I just need a few days to get a routine going with this.  I am good with routines.  I know I can do this...others have before me, so I can.  It is just hard today.

I have a meeting with a doctor at 1pm to discuss timecards with them and I look like hell.  I need to get it together...wish I would have brought some makeup darn it!!

I am not sharing this stuff on Facebook, but decided my blog was the most appropriate place to let it all out...thanks for letting me vent.  No, back to the regularly scheduled program...

Catching Up

On June 1st we became the parents of Izza Rumina Giboney. A sensational 12 year old little girl.

Then we left for vacation to South Padre Island on June 3rd.  We had a great time with family on vacation and Izza was so comfortable with the water at the end of the week.

Pictures from our vacation.

Singing in my house

In the last 45 days or so there seems to always be a stream of song coming from the sweet little girl that has permeated my life in every way.   It brings a joy to my heart that I did not realize I was missing and tears to my eyes that are the happiest tears I have ever cried.  Does it get any better than this?

Less than 30 Days

In less than 30 days our daughter will officially be ours. We have received a waiver to consummate the adoption two weeks early to have it done before we go on vacation. I can't wait to start being able to share pictures with everyone. Maybe I will actually get back to blogging again. My life is so different these days, with very little TV and a lot of one on one time spent with my daughter, not to mention the outside things she is involved in such as Special Olympics, swimming lessons, speech classes, and karate. I am very happy and I do believe she is also from her behavior. Stay tuned…vacation is on June 3^rd so there will definitely be pics when we return!!

Life as a Family

Well, the past few months my husband and I have been nurturing this new life and learning to be parents.  Our daughter seems to have found her skin with us and has told us she does not want to move to any new homes.  That made me happy, but also broke my heart for her that she even had to think about such a thing.

Life is busy between MD appointments, Speech Therapy, Special Olympics Track practice, Karate, and soon to add swimming lessons. And with all of this we moved to the house next door to the one we have rented for the past two years.  I HATE MOVING...we often move due to my job, but someone else packs and moves us so it is not as bad.  This time however it was all on us and it about broke us...physically.  Our daughter is delighted with her new room.  She got to pick the colors and I got some great decals of flowers, butterfly, lady bugs, dragonflies and bees to put up on the walls.  We found a matching switch plate and yesterday we found these cute mushroom plaques with wall hooks attached.  It is really looking like a little girls room and she is so happy.  Daddy even put stars on her ceiling at her request...

The rest of the house is coming together slowly.

So, last night we decided to start a fire in our fire pit and roast hot dogs and marshmallows.  While we were waiting for the fire to get right my daughter and I played Snakes and Ladders, Mancala, and tic-tac-toe.  We did our hot dogs and at them and macaroni and cheese on the back patio.  We had music low, ate by candle light...the weather was perfect...it was an awesome time...We then made smores and talked an played.

It was a lovely and peaceful evening that I will not soon forget.  Only thing missing as my husband pointed out was my parents.  It was the type of evening they would have truly enjoyed.  I sure wish they lived closer to enjoy our daughter with us.

Nice evening at home

We sat in our recliners tonight with our daughter jumping from chair to chair...all the while we sang childrens songs...we were off key and did not know most of the tunes but we had a great time...one of the best evenings ever.

Rudi’s Gluten-Free Bakery | Gluten-Free Bread

Rudi’s Gluten-Free Bakery | Gluten-Free Bread

I saw this in an ad on Facebook and thought of one of my blogger friends, Mel. She must lead a gluten-free life so whenever I see things about gluten-free I think ofher.

I have begun brining more gluten-free into our lives as I figure it can't hurt...I will be checking out products from this site. Will let you know what I think when I do.

Wow...Been To Long

I did not realize I have not posted since the end of January.  February was crazy with us being iced in for almost five days in a row, then a little break and one more day.  You would have thought I would have blogged each day when I was home, but instead we watched movies together as a family and played games.

The rest of the month is a blur....I really don't know where it went...

Our girl is doing great in karate...her choice over gymnastics...She had her first speech therapy last week and today she starts in an art therapy group that should help with social skills.  I am really excited about all of this for her as I want to see her develop to her highest potential.  We are going to get her into swimming lessons for special needs children in April.  This is very important because she is afraid of the water and we have  an annual beach vacation in June that we need to get her ready for.  Her cousins will be out in the water with their boogie boards and if she is afraid she will not be able to go out there with them.

Work is not fulfilling anymore, but I can't move and I am just not seeing anything else locally...I know what should be will be, but I get a little frustrated with it sometimes.

I am almost done with all of the appointments  I need to meet insurance requirements for the surgery I will be having.  Yeah!!  Once this is done it won't be long enough in between doctors visits....

I'll catch up today or tomorrow on my friends blogs...miss reading their witty posts.

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Well, considering that I am 41 and have never been pregnant I think the chances are highly unlikely, but if I were to find myself pregnant at this stage in life I think I would have a really good cry...and then I would be ecstatic. 

The cry would be because somewhere I must have really messed up to now have to raise a baby at this age and I will be ready for retirement when that child is going into college. 

The ecstatic of course because we have always wanted a baby, but have not been able to have one, hence the reason we are now adopting.

We would both trully be happy to have a baby, but mentally I am not prepared for a baby.  When we went into the adoption process we agreed, no babies and no toddlers.  We just feel that we are past wanting to do deal with what comes with those ages.  I know we could handle it, but if we have a choice at this stage in our life we would rather  not.

If I were to become pregnant, well...then my choice is gone...LOL 

Sunday Life

I love Sundays...they are always so relaxing to me, even with getting ready and going to church...I make sure I get up in enough time so I don't stress about making it on time.  And this was the 5th Sunday of the month so the children ran the service.  It was great.  We even got to see our daughter sing two songs.

We came home, had lunch.  I had some left over quiche that needed to be eaten.  It was very good.  I talked to a friend for a little while while Kerry napped and daughter played out back.  I started making dinner and Kerry took daughter around the block on her bike.  Great exercise for her.  The end is all up hill and she comes back totally flushed.  Dinner came out so good.  I made a vegan Picadillo Pie that I found on the Recipe for Vibrant Living blog.  I only used 2 white potatoes and not only did I use the chile, I also used tomatoes with chiles.

Now I am watching the ProBowl...a great Sunday in my book...

Picadillo Pie

1 onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 green chile, minced (remove the seeds for less heat)
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp mild chili powder
2 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp cinnamon
1 15 oz can chopped tomatoes (I omitted the chili and used tomatoes with chilis)
1 cup salsa
1 cup frozen corn kernels
1 15 oz can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 15 oz can pinto beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup raisins
1 cup sliced pimiento-stuffed green olives (optional)
salt to taste (optional)

Topping
3 large sweet potatoes
3 large russet potatoes
pinch of nutmeg
pinch of cayenne
pinch of salt

Peel the sweet potatoes and russets and chop them into one inch chunks.
Place them in a large pot with water to cover, and boil until tender.
Mash the potatoes in some of their cooking water, adding a pinch of each of nutmeg, cayenne and salt.

Filling
Place a small amount of water in a large skillet and water saute the onion, garlic and chil until the onion begins to soften.
Add the cumin, chili powder, oregano and cinnamon, and cook stirring until veggies are coated with spices.
Add the tomatoes, salsa corn, beans and raisins and simmer for a few minutes to allow flavors to blend.
Stir in the olives and salt if desired.

Transfer the filling to a 3 quart baking dish and spread the topping over it.
Bake the caserole in a 400 degree oven til the topping is slightly browned and the filling hot and bubbly.

Smiley Saturday

Today I smiled quite a bit...when my daughter was out on the deck practicing the recorder, when she was out jumping rope with me counting how many times she could do it consecutively, and then when she rode her bike around the block with dad walking with her, she came back so flushed from the exertion, but so happy.  All of these things made me smile today!!

Friday's Fab Five

1.What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?   It is not the strangest, but the thing I dislike most is oysters...They are pretty gross to me.  I can't really think of anything strange right now...

2.If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book, who would it be? Stephanie Plum form Janet Evanovich's Plum series.  She is hilarious and would be a lot of fun.

3.What dead person would you least want to be haunted by? I would not want to be haunted by anyone, but least I would say Hitler, he was totally demented.

4.If you had to be trapped in a book for a month, which book would you choose? (you can also pick what character you would want to be as well)  Pride and Prejudice...I love that era.  I would miss the current day infrastructure, but I would none the less love to spend time in that era.

5.If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose? (you can also pick what character you would want to be as well)  I really don't know...maybe The Facts of Life.  I always thought it could be cool to go to a boarding school...lol

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Best thing?  There is no best thing...it is ALL good.  Life is what you make it...and as far as I am concern my life is always good.  I can find happiness in the simplest things, my little girl sleeping in the back seat at the end of a long day, my employees at work joking around with each other, a beautiful sunset or sunrise....

Like I said it is all good...

The Message Bible - MSG - Online Study Tools

The Message Bible - MSG - Online Study Tools

Reading the bible has not always been one of my favorite things. I get bored very easily, especially if I am reading the King James Version. I also have the New International Version and it is a little better, but it still does not really work for me.

On Sunday Rev. Paul read the "Our Father" out of The Message Bible and I really enjoyed how that prayer was depicted in that bible. I will definitely be looking for that version to have hard copy, but it was great to find it online also.

I think the way this version is written I will be able to actually stay interested and maybe read the whole thing this time. I am actually excited about that as I have always wanted to read the whole bible, even started a few times, but could not stick with it.

Check it out...share your thoughts...

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Actually, no, I am too optimistic to give up on life and I love my family way to much to do that to them.  The hardest things in life for me are losing loved ones...the  thought of not having my husband paralyzes me.  I cannot see life without him and hope I do not have to experience that for many, many, many years.  The idea of not having my parents hurts a lot, but it is something I know will come eventually...I just keep hoping it is at least another 20 years out...So, to me there is nothing in life that could be bad enough to give up on life...losing a child is the hardest thing in life in my mind, and even then I would accept that it was time for the child's soul to rejoin God and the rest of our family.  It would hurt, but again, not a reason to give up.

I have always been the optimist, seen the good in things and the possibilities.  That makes me happy...and I think I will stick with it...

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I am skipping Day 24 right now because it is about making a Playlist for someone and I want to take my time with that...so, maybe this weekend.

All I can think of here is that I am not done...We decided to finally adopt because we felt like our lives had no meaning, no purpose.  Now that I have a child I feel I have a purpose so I guess I am still alive to provide love and nurturing to children that did not have someone to love them or help them to be the best they can be.

I really don't know why else I am still here...I don't feel I have done anything else really significant with my life up to now.  I am sure my mom or dad might argue that, but they are biased, their my parents.

The only other thing I can think of is that I am here to lend an ear or a shoulder to those having a tough time.  I have always tried to be there for the ones in my life that need a little love to make it through the next hurdle in their life.  I don't know that I have always done a great job at it, but I keep trying.

Mindful @ Work?

At church on Sunday Rev. Paul talked about being mindful...it has been the theme all month, but this is the first time I went for the month...can't wait until the other Sunday talks are put online so I can listen to them. 

So, I am sitting here...got to work 30 mins early since our train was there in time to catch the 6:33 DART.  I like getting to work that early...it gives me time for me...I was sitting here with my time just thinking...I do that way to much...but anyway, I was reflecting on what Rev. Paul had talked about and was wondering how I can be mindful in a job that can be so hectic and draining.  Do I take mini breaks to recenter myself?  How do you keep other peoples junk at work from getting in your head? 

I don't have the answers, but I am going to start working toward this and look for some books that might help.  I really think if I could be more mindful at work I would be happier and a better manager.  I have a lot of employees that depend on me and I just don't feel I give them all they need and I am sure part of that is that I am not mindful enough at work.

So, stay tuned...I'll share my insights over the next weeks...

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life

This is very easy for me to answer...I wish I would have finished my higher level of education when I was younger.  Waiting until my 40s to get a law degree was not very bright, but I hope to change that from this point forward by pursuing my degree and getting top grades while working full time.  The plan is to have as much done in nine years before I retire and then complete the rest that needs me to be available during the day after I retire from the government.

Adopting my daughter brought me back to this path.  I had not thought about pursuing a law degree since high school at that time Sister Anastasia talked me out of it and into an accounting degree...I so was not into it that I did not stick with it.  Funny thing is that I ended up in the finance world any way.  Well, going through this adoption process has made me want to become an Attorney Ad Litem.  After working for the government and what that is becoming to mean in this country I would like to do something more fulfilling such as standing up for a child's best interest.

So, I am on that path and will start courses this year.  I wanted to last year, but it was a hectic year with getting licensed and ready to get our daughter.  I am excited about pursuing this new path, but so wish I would have taken the time to do it sooner in life...

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

It is way past time that I finish this 30 days of truth...and this one, well...Wow...There is a lot in my life I wish I hadn't done...but it is what it is and I try every day to create the reality that I really want to live.  

If I had answered this over a month ago my answer would be different than it is today...Today my answer is that I wish I would not have waited so long to pursue adoption.  I am not sure if it was really smart to wait until I was 41 to make this happen.  I had taken the classes for it 10 years ago, but had never did anymore towards actually getting a child into my home.  I let work and other things in life be more important and I should not have.  It is great having a family with a child in it...she is such a joy...

So, out of the many things in my life that I wish I had not done...and some are pretty serious...this is the one that stands out the most today...

Life Unscripted

I think up to now I have been kind of living by a script...my days were pretty normal, for me that is, and probably pretty boring.  Now with a child in my life I do not have as much time for myself and I seem to have less time to blog than I was having before...well, before I think I was more or less...mostly more, being lazy.

Our child is a hand full.  Her special needs get in the way of her listening to insructions and following them, of her staying focused on a task, or  her remembering simple things.  I have so much to learn and want to know.  We both get frustrated with each other at times, but I think over all everything is going well.  The good times out weigh the bad and we do not regret bringing her into our lives.

I can't wait for the adoption to be final so that I can share some pictures with you.

We spent the weekend with my in-laws and she had a very good time with her cousins, whom are also adopted and understand what she is going through.  It was nice to spend time with family and for her to feel a part of a larger family, not just hubby and I.  She was really well behaved for the most part, which made our time more enjoyable.

Now back to school, which she informs me she does not like because some kid made fun of her.  Well, he did not make fun of her, but that is her take on it.  He told her to stop picking her nose and to wash her hands because that is what they are taught at the school.  I tell her the same thing all of the time so I told her if she would stop picking her nose than he would not have anything to say to her then.  So, she is happy that it is a short week.  I hope she decides to like school again though as it do believe it makes a difference in how well a child does.  I think she  may also not like it because they are also  making her learn something here, where her previous school really did not.

Well, back to work...just thought I would get this done while I was thinking about it.  I will try to catch up on other peoples through the day and tonight at home if I get a chance.

What a Day, What a Day

The data I needed for the report I needed to provide to HR was not on my desk this morning...so I got cranky and sent a message to the employees supervisor and told her to counsel of the employees who were delinquent and document for their performance appraisals.  I am so tired of being the nice guy and being taken advantage of on a regular basis.

I get a call this morning and hubby says that our daughter took forever to get ready this morning...she kept playing instead of getting dressed.  She was almost late for school.  So...tomorrow she will get dressed in the bathroom...And she had her LeapFrog and other toys in her backpack after I told her not to take toys to school...batting .1000 here.

Then I get a call from our HR Chief that mysteriously resigned last week.  Well, guess I should not go into that here...

Tonight was better.  My daughter and I started reading The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library) tonight.  It is difficult enough for a mom to talk to her daughter about all of the changes her body is going through.  It is even more difficult when you have a daughter about to be 12, but her cognitive level is  more like 5.  The hope is that the book will help me bet the points across.

So, let's hope for a better day tomorrow.  No work, but a meeting with the Special Ed people at the school.  I am actually looking forward to it...let's hope it turns out great for our little girl.

The Holidays

My parents left yesterday at 6:30 a.m.  They were here for nine days and we had a great time.  This was the best Christmas I will ever have...it was the first Christmas with my daughter and I got to share it with my parents.

Our daughter really took to her new grandparents...she is such a happy child and my parents just basked in her giggles and smiles.  Memories were created that I will have for a very long time.

We didn't do anything particularly special, other than go to a museum in Fort Worth and go to Chuck-E-Cheese as the granddaughter had asked her grandpa if he would bring her before they ever got here...and of course he said yes...

We had one day where it got into the 70s.  We had a cookout that day...my hubby was dancing around enjoying himself...even said at one point that it felt like a party.  It was a party...a party of life...we had such a good day every day...but that day is one that I keep thinking of...it was just great.

Now, daughter goes back to school tomorrow and I go back to work after being out for over a week.  It will be good for all of us to get back into a normal routine.

I did the Leslie Sansone 1 mile after breakfast...daughter joined me...it felt good...and it was great to do it with her...now to get to bed at a decent time to do it again tomorrow morning.

So, I am off now to iron for the week...file the nails...and other weekly grooming...hugs to you all...hope you first week of 2011 is a great one.