My children, thankfully did keep my attention thought it was very laborious at times, they were one of the few things I could concentrate on because I knew they needed me and I could be in a different world away from my hurt for awhile. In the first 30-45 days however there were times, when their daddy was the lifesaver as I was so deep in my despair that I could not let them see me as I was at the time.
For the first time in my life I turned to medication to try to help with the depression I had been thrown into. And now that I am off that med and have made it this far, I am of the mind, that one, I probably needed a med when we lost the girls and two, I never want to take a med for that again.
Since coming off the meds the Elmers glue is slowly being replaced with superglue, but I still need mortar and that will take awhile I do believe.
I cry about the girls regularly now...I had not really done that since right after losing them. I think I needed to, but just did not. I am more attentive to people and things in my life since coming off the meds and I knew I was not while on them, but I truly did not seem to care. I started realizing it more and more and that is when I knew I had to come off the meds...so I could get me back.
I am meditating again...focusing more...trying to help some very special people in my life through manifestation. And now today...I started looking at my Chakra. I have let this go far to long and I am sure is a very large reason as to why things have occurred as they have since November.
We have a trip planned with the children during Christmas break. I have created a goal for myself to be more balanced in my Chakra before then. If I am well balanced it will only make life better for people that I communicate with daily.
Ah, this felt good. I need to do this more. Thanks for caring enough to read what I write.