Keep Calm

2 Loves - It's Joyful and Complicated

So, I mentioned the last time I blogged that I had recently realized that I was in love with a man that I have known for a little over two years.  I have had and still do have many male friends and this is the first one I have found that I actually love as much as I love my husband.  And there is the rub.  If you have been following me all these years you can go back and you will find that I love my husband heart and soul.  We have really found ourselves to be soul mates.  So, when it hit me and let me tell you, it hit me, that I was in love with my friend Doc, well it threw me.  I had a couple weeks of complete and utter confusion going on in my heart and head.  I prayed and consulted a friend of my heart and I prayed.  I then told my husband and that in the end is what I should have done first.  He helped me put it all into perspective and in the end was so understanding it was such a relief.  He understands and also believes that it is possible to be heart and soul  in love with two people at the same time and has said that he will not stop me from following this through.  I was surprised, but so, so relieved that I had not caused any damage to our relationship and that I could continue my other relationship.

To most of you, I am sure you are saying...WHAT?????  But that is because we have been taught only about monogamy.  Created laws that don't allow people to even be married to more than one person at a time.  When marriage is an affair of the heart I don't understand where laws should come into play.  A license to get married???  Really???  As I said I did some reading on polyamory and I think one of my favorite items is from a blog titled Adventures in Polyamory.  I really liked how he put things into perspective in this blog post and I agree with so much that he says here that I really encourage you to read it, but I wanted to share my favorite line from the blog and I feel it really sums up how I feel about this in my life.  The female in his story states at one point that "love is not like a bathtub;somebody doesn't need to get out to make room for someone else."  I don't have to not love or leave my husband to be in love with Doc and act on that love.  I do however have to upfront and honest with both of them and that has been the easiest part because I love them both so much and do not want either to be hurt.

So, as I sit here typing this today, I am a very blessed woman to be loved by two wonderful men and for them both to allow me to return that love in kind.  I have three wonderful children that in no way will be hurt by this because in the end their mother is actually happier than she has been in awhile.  And it is not that I was unhappy with my marriage or my love with my husband, but that love was comfortable and I had other things going on in my life that I would allow to invade my happiness.  I am now learning to push that stuff back and enjoy the love that I have around me.

Joy and Peace to all.

Starting anew

Adoption finalized May 22nd.

Moved back to Georgia June 14th.

Realized I am heart and soul in love with a friend that I have known for just over two years.

Life is complicated, but it is all good.

Happy.

New Stuff

We are now a family of 5!!!  As of May 22nd Alejandra and Kristian became ours!!

Izza is going on to 9th grade...unbelievable!!!  Where has the time gone!!  I remember the little 11 year old that came to my house 3 1/2 years ago, just wanting to be loved...now I have a loving young lady, with a teenage attitude.  :)  It is all good...just can't believe how quick it all happened.

 

 

So, now we are off to Georgia.  Going back home after 13 1/2 years.  It will be different...I am not the same person.  I have really grown since leaving that state at 31 years of age and traveling around the U.S. changing jobs, meeting new people, and growing spiritually in the process.

 

I think different than I did then...the things that were important than are not necessarily the same things that are important to me now.  I would surprise people with some of my beliefs...but may are private and I won't go into them here.

 

So, it will be interesting to see how my new family dynamic and the me that I have grown to be fit into my old world in the Augusta, GA community. 

 

 

Excitement abounds...a lot of work in the next week and a half...and a bit of nervousness to go with it...Stay tuned...

 



Smile Today and Everyday

This one is for you Mel!

I always think about you at Halloween and when Imsee special Halloween things...

Friday Faith Talk

The presence of God is within and around me. I am alive with creative energy, awake to prospering ideas, and open to unlimited goodness.

Happy New Year!!

Why do we wait to the new year to decide to make changes and do things differently?  Well, maybe that is not accurate...I don't think I wait exactly, but I always seem to have thoughts going through my head of what I want to do different, more or less of, etc.

We have our two little ones and I have been itching to get a paint brush in their hands. I love to see the creative that comes from a child's mind.  It was my favorite thing to do when I had the girls.  I also enjoy when my Izza and I take the time to pick a picture together that we will both recreate into our own master piece.

When I meditate I get pictures in my mind's eye that I feel a pull to put down on paper and I never take the time to do so...so, in 2014 I want to find more time for that...

I am working on figuring out how to fit in all of the healthy things for me, but mental, spiritual and physical, and still meet the family, social, work and business obligations.

I know I can do it...there are those out there that do so much more than I do...and do it well...so, if they can do I can too...and I hope to have more insight on how I will work it all out in the very near future.

My thoughts are enriched by the creative spirit of God within me. I am filled with renewed enthusiasm, and my life is prospered.

Namaste my Friends!!

An Awesome Woman

I just lost my Gran...I almost cannot believe it...she was 85 and was the sweetest person you could ever know and was so much fun to be around.  I have such great memories and will cherish them forever.  This is the grandma that at my Grandpa's 60 birthday did a little dance to the stripper song swinging her dresses untied belt and grooving to the music.  She accepted my desire to follow my own spiritual path better than my parents did in the beginning.  She loved watching Cheech and Chong.  She had a habit of falling asleep 10 minutes before the end of many movies.  I was told stories of her throwing her rubber shoes down the street at my dad and uncle when they were little rascals.  She was full Italian and was everything that meant for an Italian woman living in Philly.  She never learned to drive and when she lived in South Philly I remember walking with her and my great grandma to 7th St and the Italian market to go shopping.  She made the best meatballs in the world and the best lasagna.  She loved to make peas and pasta and I have to say Gran, that was not one of my favs.  When Gran and Pops would dance together you could see how much he adore her...and now they are back together.   I love you both and will miss you until the day I see you again.



And 2 makes 5

Yep, that is right...two little ones have been added to our household.  Their case is moving to the adoption unit so we are starting our six months until we can finalize the adoption.  The little lady is 28 mos and a doll, though she has typical behavior of a child of the age and someone that is experiencing confusion due to the change in households.  My little man will be 4 in March and he is all boy, energy and all...again typical behavior of the age and the circumstances is what we are experiencing.

It is awesome having them in our home.  It tore us up when the girls were taken and we vowed we could not foster again after that experience.  So, we have been looking for children available for adoption.  These two came on our radar in October and we were ecstatic two weeks ago when we were told that CPS decided to place them with us.

The little lady reminds me so much of my two younger girls that we had for 10 months and sometimes that is difficult, but for the most part it is all joy even with the behavior issues.

Izza adores them and loves reading to them and playing with them.  They both are starting to enjoy playing with Izza.

So, we have our Christmas present early and I can't wait for the day I can share their pictures with you!!

A Cold Sunday

Not so nice weather is coming in and our church is 30 minutes away so we decided it would be safer to not go rather than to face unsafe travels on the way home...

So, Izza had her first sewing lesson today.  Though I do know how to sew, so does my husband, so he took the lead on this today.  Izza worked on straight lines to get used to how to control the speed and "material".  She did a really great job for her first time.

Then Izza and I decided to work on our first Christmas decorations for the tree...we are going with homemade decorations this year...other than some cute snowman balls I bought the other day.  These are not perfect, but they were made with love...and that makes them perfect for us.  We had fun doing them together.  Next weekend we hope to have two little ones joining the family to make more with.