Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Well, considering that I am 41 and have never been pregnant I think the chances are highly unlikely, but if I were to find myself pregnant at this stage in life I think I would have a really good cry...and then I would be ecstatic. 

The cry would be because somewhere I must have really messed up to now have to raise a baby at this age and I will be ready for retirement when that child is going into college. 

The ecstatic of course because we have always wanted a baby, but have not been able to have one, hence the reason we are now adopting.

We would both trully be happy to have a baby, but mentally I am not prepared for a baby.  When we went into the adoption process we agreed, no babies and no toddlers.  We just feel that we are past wanting to do deal with what comes with those ages.  I know we could handle it, but if we have a choice at this stage in our life we would rather  not.

If I were to become pregnant, well...then my choice is gone...LOL 

Sunday Life

I love Sundays...they are always so relaxing to me, even with getting ready and going to church...I make sure I get up in enough time so I don't stress about making it on time.  And this was the 5th Sunday of the month so the children ran the service.  It was great.  We even got to see our daughter sing two songs.

We came home, had lunch.  I had some left over quiche that needed to be eaten.  It was very good.  I talked to a friend for a little while while Kerry napped and daughter played out back.  I started making dinner and Kerry took daughter around the block on her bike.  Great exercise for her.  The end is all up hill and she comes back totally flushed.  Dinner came out so good.  I made a vegan Picadillo Pie that I found on the Recipe for Vibrant Living blog.  I only used 2 white potatoes and not only did I use the chile, I also used tomatoes with chiles.

Now I am watching the ProBowl...a great Sunday in my book...

Picadillo Pie

1 onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 green chile, minced (remove the seeds for less heat)
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp mild chili powder
2 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp cinnamon
1 15 oz can chopped tomatoes (I omitted the chili and used tomatoes with chilis)
1 cup salsa
1 cup frozen corn kernels
1 15 oz can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 15 oz can pinto beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup raisins
1 cup sliced pimiento-stuffed green olives (optional)
salt to taste (optional)

Topping
3 large sweet potatoes
3 large russet potatoes
pinch of nutmeg
pinch of cayenne
pinch of salt

Peel the sweet potatoes and russets and chop them into one inch chunks.
Place them in a large pot with water to cover, and boil until tender.
Mash the potatoes in some of their cooking water, adding a pinch of each of nutmeg, cayenne and salt.

Filling
Place a small amount of water in a large skillet and water saute the onion, garlic and chil until the onion begins to soften.
Add the cumin, chili powder, oregano and cinnamon, and cook stirring until veggies are coated with spices.
Add the tomatoes, salsa corn, beans and raisins and simmer for a few minutes to allow flavors to blend.
Stir in the olives and salt if desired.

Transfer the filling to a 3 quart baking dish and spread the topping over it.
Bake the caserole in a 400 degree oven til the topping is slightly browned and the filling hot and bubbly.

Smiley Saturday

Today I smiled quite a bit...when my daughter was out on the deck practicing the recorder, when she was out jumping rope with me counting how many times she could do it consecutively, and then when she rode her bike around the block with dad walking with her, she came back so flushed from the exertion, but so happy.  All of these things made me smile today!!

Friday's Fab Five

1.What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?   It is not the strangest, but the thing I dislike most is oysters...They are pretty gross to me.  I can't really think of anything strange right now...

2.If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book, who would it be? Stephanie Plum form Janet Evanovich's Plum series.  She is hilarious and would be a lot of fun.

3.What dead person would you least want to be haunted by? I would not want to be haunted by anyone, but least I would say Hitler, he was totally demented.

4.If you had to be trapped in a book for a month, which book would you choose? (you can also pick what character you would want to be as well)  Pride and Prejudice...I love that era.  I would miss the current day infrastructure, but I would none the less love to spend time in that era.

5.If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose? (you can also pick what character you would want to be as well)  I really don't know...maybe The Facts of Life.  I always thought it could be cool to go to a boarding school...lol

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Best thing?  There is no best thing...it is ALL good.  Life is what you make it...and as far as I am concern my life is always good.  I can find happiness in the simplest things, my little girl sleeping in the back seat at the end of a long day, my employees at work joking around with each other, a beautiful sunset or sunrise....

Like I said it is all good...

The Message Bible - MSG - Online Study Tools

The Message Bible - MSG - Online Study Tools

Reading the bible has not always been one of my favorite things. I get bored very easily, especially if I am reading the King James Version. I also have the New International Version and it is a little better, but it still does not really work for me.

On Sunday Rev. Paul read the "Our Father" out of The Message Bible and I really enjoyed how that prayer was depicted in that bible. I will definitely be looking for that version to have hard copy, but it was great to find it online also.

I think the way this version is written I will be able to actually stay interested and maybe read the whole thing this time. I am actually excited about that as I have always wanted to read the whole bible, even started a few times, but could not stick with it.

Check it out...share your thoughts...

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Actually, no, I am too optimistic to give up on life and I love my family way to much to do that to them.  The hardest things in life for me are losing loved ones...the  thought of not having my husband paralyzes me.  I cannot see life without him and hope I do not have to experience that for many, many, many years.  The idea of not having my parents hurts a lot, but it is something I know will come eventually...I just keep hoping it is at least another 20 years out...So, to me there is nothing in life that could be bad enough to give up on life...losing a child is the hardest thing in life in my mind, and even then I would accept that it was time for the child's soul to rejoin God and the rest of our family.  It would hurt, but again, not a reason to give up.

I have always been the optimist, seen the good in things and the possibilities.  That makes me happy...and I think I will stick with it...

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I am skipping Day 24 right now because it is about making a Playlist for someone and I want to take my time with that...so, maybe this weekend.

All I can think of here is that I am not done...We decided to finally adopt because we felt like our lives had no meaning, no purpose.  Now that I have a child I feel I have a purpose so I guess I am still alive to provide love and nurturing to children that did not have someone to love them or help them to be the best they can be.

I really don't know why else I am still here...I don't feel I have done anything else really significant with my life up to now.  I am sure my mom or dad might argue that, but they are biased, their my parents.

The only other thing I can think of is that I am here to lend an ear or a shoulder to those having a tough time.  I have always tried to be there for the ones in my life that need a little love to make it through the next hurdle in their life.  I don't know that I have always done a great job at it, but I keep trying.

Mindful @ Work?

At church on Sunday Rev. Paul talked about being mindful...it has been the theme all month, but this is the first time I went for the month...can't wait until the other Sunday talks are put online so I can listen to them. 

So, I am sitting here...got to work 30 mins early since our train was there in time to catch the 6:33 DART.  I like getting to work that early...it gives me time for me...I was sitting here with my time just thinking...I do that way to much...but anyway, I was reflecting on what Rev. Paul had talked about and was wondering how I can be mindful in a job that can be so hectic and draining.  Do I take mini breaks to recenter myself?  How do you keep other peoples junk at work from getting in your head? 

I don't have the answers, but I am going to start working toward this and look for some books that might help.  I really think if I could be more mindful at work I would be happier and a better manager.  I have a lot of employees that depend on me and I just don't feel I give them all they need and I am sure part of that is that I am not mindful enough at work.

So, stay tuned...I'll share my insights over the next weeks...

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life

This is very easy for me to answer...I wish I would have finished my higher level of education when I was younger.  Waiting until my 40s to get a law degree was not very bright, but I hope to change that from this point forward by pursuing my degree and getting top grades while working full time.  The plan is to have as much done in nine years before I retire and then complete the rest that needs me to be available during the day after I retire from the government.

Adopting my daughter brought me back to this path.  I had not thought about pursuing a law degree since high school at that time Sister Anastasia talked me out of it and into an accounting degree...I so was not into it that I did not stick with it.  Funny thing is that I ended up in the finance world any way.  Well, going through this adoption process has made me want to become an Attorney Ad Litem.  After working for the government and what that is becoming to mean in this country I would like to do something more fulfilling such as standing up for a child's best interest.

So, I am on that path and will start courses this year.  I wanted to last year, but it was a hectic year with getting licensed and ready to get our daughter.  I am excited about pursuing this new path, but so wish I would have taken the time to do it sooner in life...

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

It is way past time that I finish this 30 days of truth...and this one, well...Wow...There is a lot in my life I wish I hadn't done...but it is what it is and I try every day to create the reality that I really want to live.  

If I had answered this over a month ago my answer would be different than it is today...Today my answer is that I wish I would not have waited so long to pursue adoption.  I am not sure if it was really smart to wait until I was 41 to make this happen.  I had taken the classes for it 10 years ago, but had never did anymore towards actually getting a child into my home.  I let work and other things in life be more important and I should not have.  It is great having a family with a child in it...she is such a joy...

So, out of the many things in my life that I wish I had not done...and some are pretty serious...this is the one that stands out the most today...

Life Unscripted

I think up to now I have been kind of living by a script...my days were pretty normal, for me that is, and probably pretty boring.  Now with a child in my life I do not have as much time for myself and I seem to have less time to blog than I was having before...well, before I think I was more or less...mostly more, being lazy.

Our child is a hand full.  Her special needs get in the way of her listening to insructions and following them, of her staying focused on a task, or  her remembering simple things.  I have so much to learn and want to know.  We both get frustrated with each other at times, but I think over all everything is going well.  The good times out weigh the bad and we do not regret bringing her into our lives.

I can't wait for the adoption to be final so that I can share some pictures with you.

We spent the weekend with my in-laws and she had a very good time with her cousins, whom are also adopted and understand what she is going through.  It was nice to spend time with family and for her to feel a part of a larger family, not just hubby and I.  She was really well behaved for the most part, which made our time more enjoyable.

Now back to school, which she informs me she does not like because some kid made fun of her.  Well, he did not make fun of her, but that is her take on it.  He told her to stop picking her nose and to wash her hands because that is what they are taught at the school.  I tell her the same thing all of the time so I told her if she would stop picking her nose than he would not have anything to say to her then.  So, she is happy that it is a short week.  I hope she decides to like school again though as it do believe it makes a difference in how well a child does.  I think she  may also not like it because they are also  making her learn something here, where her previous school really did not.

Well, back to work...just thought I would get this done while I was thinking about it.  I will try to catch up on other peoples through the day and tonight at home if I get a chance.

What a Day, What a Day

The data I needed for the report I needed to provide to HR was not on my desk this morning...so I got cranky and sent a message to the employees supervisor and told her to counsel of the employees who were delinquent and document for their performance appraisals.  I am so tired of being the nice guy and being taken advantage of on a regular basis.

I get a call this morning and hubby says that our daughter took forever to get ready this morning...she kept playing instead of getting dressed.  She was almost late for school.  So...tomorrow she will get dressed in the bathroom...And she had her LeapFrog and other toys in her backpack after I told her not to take toys to school...batting .1000 here.

Then I get a call from our HR Chief that mysteriously resigned last week.  Well, guess I should not go into that here...

Tonight was better.  My daughter and I started reading The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library) tonight.  It is difficult enough for a mom to talk to her daughter about all of the changes her body is going through.  It is even more difficult when you have a daughter about to be 12, but her cognitive level is  more like 5.  The hope is that the book will help me bet the points across.

So, let's hope for a better day tomorrow.  No work, but a meeting with the Special Ed people at the school.  I am actually looking forward to it...let's hope it turns out great for our little girl.

The Holidays

My parents left yesterday at 6:30 a.m.  They were here for nine days and we had a great time.  This was the best Christmas I will ever have...it was the first Christmas with my daughter and I got to share it with my parents.

Our daughter really took to her new grandparents...she is such a happy child and my parents just basked in her giggles and smiles.  Memories were created that I will have for a very long time.

We didn't do anything particularly special, other than go to a museum in Fort Worth and go to Chuck-E-Cheese as the granddaughter had asked her grandpa if he would bring her before they ever got here...and of course he said yes...

We had one day where it got into the 70s.  We had a cookout that day...my hubby was dancing around enjoying himself...even said at one point that it felt like a party.  It was a party...a party of life...we had such a good day every day...but that day is one that I keep thinking of...it was just great.

Now, daughter goes back to school tomorrow and I go back to work after being out for over a week.  It will be good for all of us to get back into a normal routine.

I did the Leslie Sansone 1 mile after breakfast...daughter joined me...it felt good...and it was great to do it with her...now to get to bed at a decent time to do it again tomorrow morning.

So, I am off now to iron for the week...file the nails...and other weekly grooming...hugs to you all...hope you first week of 2011 is a great one.