5 Days Off

Okay, so, it appears I am missing in action...actually my husband and I have been off together since Wednesday. We had a nice quiet day on Wednesday and Thursday. We had a great meal together, but I was tired after cooking from being on my feet for a couple of hours so I took it easy. Friday we headed to Memphis...a post later today on that...and came home late yesterday, very tired and just vegged to Christmas shows that taped while we were gone. I barely got on the PC during the past four days...sometimes we just need the basics...you know?

So, I'll post later today about the trip to Memphis...just thought I would let everyone know that I am still alive..hehehe

...in other words...

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
-- Tom Robbins

I have never really thought of the brain this way. But I guess I can see it, especially since I love to do puzzles and that to me makes teh brain an educational toy. Puzzles and games help to keep our brains young. If we don't use the brain and challenge it it will go to mush just like our other muscles do when not used.

I think this quote means to play with things, don't be afraid to try things..."toy" with them to expand your knowledge and experience.

This is how I live my life, especially lately. I try as much as possible, even things that in the past I would have avoided. I am not saying that there is nothing I will not try, but at this time I am trying to be more open and experience life to it's fullest. I believe that is what God has intended for us on this earth.

"God insists on diversity."

Okay, so I mentioned somewhere along the line that I have been reading a book by Bruce Feiler titled "Where God was Born" - A Journey by Land to the Roots of Religion. I am not a very religious person by my own definition, but I believe myself to be spiritual. I find myself since 1998 reading all types of religious/spiritual books as I go down my spiritual path. I have read everything from Christian self help books to Buckland's Complete Book of Witch Craft. I have learned along the way that I share some Pagan beliefs, but I am not Wiccan or a witch. I have learned that I have a high respect for the man we all call Jesus and that we have so much to learn from him and have only scratched the surface. But mostly I have learned that I have to pay attention to what my heart "feels" about what I read and how I react to what I read.

In this book "Where God was Born" I have come across a passage that really speaks to me and I just felt a need to put it here and share it with others. I guess I need to give you just a little back story. The author of this book is a Jewish man that is a native of Savannah, GA that currently resides in New York. The part of the book that this passage comes from is where he has traveled to Iraq in the years after the invasion by the US so somewhere between 2003 and 2004. I have learned so much about the biblical history of Iraq from reading this book. I guess we don't study the geography enough to realize what is there...so, as he is finishing up this part of the book he is looking back on his visit and whether he found what he was looking for there. Here is what he said that really made me think and spoke to me like it was meant for me to hear for a reason.

"The message here is unexpected but powerfully relevant today. When humans try to create one language--when one group of people tries to impose an artificial order on teh world--God views this as a hubristic attempt to usurp his powers and slaps down the arrogation. God insists on diversity. He demands that humans accept their differences. In rejecting the Tower of Babel, God rejects fundamentalism, the idea that one way of speaking is the only way of speaking and can be imposed on others at will.
God's Solution is a cacophony of voices, living side by side"

Now, if you know me then you know I don't believe in a God that "demands" anything. I believe in a loving God that would never hurt his people in anyway, especially not intentionally as the bible indicates in so many stories. But what I get from this passage is that God "wants" us to all be different, that in being different that is when we are at our best and when we most resemble God. None of us has a right to impose our beliefs on each other...we must all be the unique person that we were created to be during this time on earth, until our next time when we will be something totally different again. Trying to "make" people see it our way, believe our way, goes completely against our reason for being here. We are here to "experience" life in a different way each visit to this awesome planet.

Isn't it awesome?? Well, I think so and I just loved what that passage had to say and felt a need to share it here...I hope it does something for you, but if not that is fine...because we are all different and I like knowing that...

Sunday of Firsts

I had a Sunday of firsts yesterday. I made my first cheesecake from scratch. I actually followed Paula Dean's recipe from the Food Network site. My two favorite desserts in the world are cheesecake and pumpkin pie so this was the best of both worlds and it came out delightful. Even put a little whipped cream on top.

The second first was a pot pie. I am not big on chicken pot pies, but my hubby loves them and yesterday felt like it should be a comfort food day, which I know pot pie is labeled as a comfort food by most. Well, every recipe I found called for a cream of chicken soup, which I did not have. I had chicken tenders I planned to cook in olive oil with seasonings and I had my own chicken stock I had made and frozen a couple months ago, and I had some stir-fry veggies I wanted to use for the veggies because I am not a huge peas and carrots person, which is what most recipes called for also. So, I cooked my chicken, let it cool and cut it up. I put in my stir-fry veggies to the seasoned oil I cooked the chicken in, at least what was left of the oil, and took out the water chestnuts because I don't like them. I then added my chicken broth and a little extra water to make it enough and some extra chicken bouillon. I cooked that until it came to a boil and added the chicken and some flour and milk that I had mixed in my Tupperware shaker thingy. It came to a nice creamy consistency. I mixed the Heart Healthy Bisquick with some milk and an egg to make the top and put in the oven for about 25 minutes. It came out wonderful...I was satisfied and had a very happy husband.

So, yeah, I am a little proud of these firsts...the main reason is these are things I have actually avoided cooking thinking each were very labor intensive and just easier to buy rather than make. I was wrong...both were super easy and tasted so much better than anything I have ever bought whether it be in a box or at a restaurant.

Sleeping with Bread

Since this is the week of Thanksgiving I think it most appropriate that I do my Sleeping with Bread on things that I am thankful for in the past week.

1. I am thankful for living just 7 hours away from my parents instead of 14 as I did for the past two years.

2. I am thankful for a husband that works a job he does not like so that we can pay the bills and also be able to get some creature comforts.

3. I am thankful for friends that allow me to dump on them when they already have issues of their own.

4. I am thankful for a job that though I am not satisfied it allows me to pay bills, have good health insurance, and paid leave.

5. I am thankful for having both of my parents still on this earth with me.

I am also thankful for all of my blog buddies out there that I am getting to know a little more each day from reading your blogs and from you reading mine and responding.

Happy Thanksgiving week to everyone.

Sunday Sunrise Sunset

I am running out of sunset and sunrise pics...makes me think that I don't take enough time to see sunsets and sunrises...I think the sunsets right around the time I get off work. I now have a goal to step outside at 5pm each day and hopefully I will get to see more sunsets...now sunrises...hmm...we'll have to figure that one out...that used to be my favorite time of day...I need to get back to that also.

So, this picture was taken when we were returning from a trip to GA last year. I believe it just have been Christmas time. Not my best sunset picture, but it does have some pretty colors in it.

The Saturday Special

~One Word To Start A Sentence Or Statement~
~Fill In The Blanks~

1. Buying ________?

2. Cooking ________?

3. Dinner ________?

4. Invited ________?

1. Buying i snot the fun part...the fun part is giving and seeing the faces of those you have given to when they receive what you cared enough to buy for them. We put a lot of thought into the gifts we buy.

2. Cooking is one of my greatest pleasures. I love to cook different things for my husband, family and friends...trying out new things from cookbooks and cooking shows.

3. Dinner was great tonight, simple, but great. I cooked a roast in the pampered chef baker with both top and bottom so it was like a clay oven. I cooked it at 200 degrees for 8 hours. It was wonderful. I took regular honey bbq sauce and added mustard and vinegar, made my favorite broccoli salad and garlic mashed potatoes. It was a great dinner adn simple.

4. Invited to what? We don't know anyone in the area really so we don't get invited to anything. The goal is to hopefully move closer to Augusta again to be near our families. Then we can invite people over and be invited to things with our families. We miss having that interaction more frequently.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. The last band I saw live was _____________.

The last band I saw live was Billy Joel. Last year in December Kerry brought me to see Billy Joel. It was the best concert I have ever been to and still talk about it when given a chance.

2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is _________. (if you don't celebrate thanksgiving, insert your favorite holiday)

What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is relaxing with my family. This year that means my husband and I. We will sleep in and just have a great day together just the two of us.

3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is __________.

My Christmas/holiday shopping is mid way to being done...YEAH!!

4. Thoughts of _____________ fill my head.

Thoughts of sleep fill my head right now. I am tired and waiting to be picked up by hubby. He has gotten off last every day this week.

5. I wish I could wear ______________.

I wish I could wear a size 10!!!!!!!!! That's all I am going to say about it.

6. Bagpipes ________.

Bagpipes make me think of Amazing Grace. I love the bagpipe version of that song.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _____, tomorrow my plans include _____ and Sunday, I want to _____!

And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to eatting out and getting grocery shopping done, tomorrow my plans include finishing up the Christmas cards and Sunday, I want to watch the Eagles win their football game!!!!!!

3x Thursday

1. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
2. What did you grow up to be? Are you happy with that choice?
3. If you could choose any job for the next 30 years, what would it be? Why?

1. When I was younger and still in high school I thought I would someday be a lawyer. I really don't know what happened to that thought. It surely never materialized. In my senior year Sister Anastasia had it in her head that because of my abilities in math I had to go into accounting and being young and impressionable I let her lead me in that direction. I was registered at a small Catholic Ukranian College outside of Philadelphia to pursue a degree in accounting. Due to family issues I never attended that college and never got that degree, nor any other to speak of.
2. I am now a government employee. I often say to my mom...yeah, I don't recall ever saying I want to grow up to be a civil servant. I have worked in the payroll and human resources field for 19 years now. I have more payroll than HR experience. I currently assist our regional Payroll/Travel Program Manager by creating and delivering training on payroll and handling the employee travel for our upper management. I am not happy any longer. I am tired of a lot of things. I have 11 more years before I qualify to retire from the government and I want to do something different, but that is hard once you get so much experience in one area in the government, it is not so easy to change to a different field. I have to use my previous management experience from when I was a Regional Payroll Manager to help me cross over to something else and it is not easy.
3. I would become a teacher. I know it does not pay as much as I make now, but it is what I now know I want to do with my life. And I will be. I plan to go back to school and get my teachers degree so that in 11 years when I retire from this job I can become a teacher. I may not do it for another 30 years, but I will do it for at least 10-15. I hope I can make a difference in the world by helping to grow our future. I know it is difficult in today's world to be a teacher; my sister-in-law recently started teaching and has told me some stories of kids that are just plain bad and now matter what the parent does it does not change. I don't know how you handle those types of things, but I am willing to learn and hopefully somewhere along the way I can make a difference with those young people so that they can grow up to be productive citizens.

"I want......" Wedneday

What do you want to be remembered for?

I want to be remembered for being a caring person. I deeply love and care for those who come into my life and become a part of this life. I try to be there for them as much as possible, whether it be to offer an ear, a shoulder, or help financially if I am able to at the time. These people become part of me, part of my family and I hope they realize that I care and that I see them as family and not outside of my family.

We are all truly connected by our souls and a greater power so it was only natural to develop this kind of caring for people in my life. I believe if more people would realize this we could have peace and go on to build ourselves into an awesome society.

So, yes, I want to be remembered for being a caring person. And not only about people. I care about our earth and how we live in it. I care about being healthy, though I struggle with doing what is right, the people that know me know I care, I avoid just about every vice out there, though I do have a drink once in a blue moon...and enjoy it..LOL I try to put that care into action, I am big on recycling, sadly where I live how no place to bring my plastic and it kills me every time I throw one away. I do my best to buy organic and materials that will not sit on this earth for 100s of years without composting themselves. There is so much more that we can do, but I do the little stuff that I can at the moment...

TEASER TUESDAYS asks you to:

Grab your current read.

Let the book fall open to a random page.

Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from that page, somewhere between lines 7 and 12.

You also need to share the title of the book that you’re getting your “teaser” from … that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given!

Please avoid spoilers!

"The plane had only a few windows, and those were concealed behind gear. It's the only plane I've ever been in where the flight attendant wore a pistol." page 130 ~ "Where God Was Born" by Bruce Feiler

A little Bit of Me...

Oh, today was a tiring day....I am giving training to people in 7 different cities, 15 people in all. We are using LiveMeeting for the visual and a conference line for the verbal. I have activities for them to do in each of their locations as a group that we then go over together in the larger group as part of the learning process. It is going well, but I talk for almost 5 hours and it is wearing me out by the end of the day. I received some of the daily evaluation forms back and the feedback was good so that makes me happy. This is the first time I have provided this training in this format without a facilitator at each facility. I really don't like the delivering the training part, I rather just create the training, but then the control freak part of me knows that there is no one that will deliver the training the way I designed it...so...I end up doing it all...it is my fault I know, but it sure would be nice to find that one person that could just see my vision and pick up from where I leave off...a nice dream...some day maybe...

This is my full week...5 days in a row...I can make it just knowing that next week with the holiday I only have to work 3 days. My hubby just found out he gets the holiday off so he only has to work 2 days next week. He deserves it, this is his 7 days in a row so it will be good for him to have a lighter week before he does another 7 days.

I need to finish up my Christmas cards so I can have them mailed on the 1st. I already addressed all of the ones I made already. I think I only have about 10 or so more to do...so happy about that. Hubby really wants me to bake a bit this year so I am working on figuring out what recipes I want to make. My mom does tons of baking so I want to make some unique things that she does not do. Any family favorites you care to share? Email me...

I guess that about does it for how things are going in my life for now, nothing special, which is fine...special for me usually means issues..in the negative sense and I like to avoid those.

Blessed Be to you...

...in other words...

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.

-- Hesketh Pearson

Hmm, I had to read this a few times for it to sink in...I guess I am more tired than I thought.

I see what this is saying, that being widely read with all of the knowledge in their head it is easy to misquote, but I don't really agree that a widely read person has a privilege to do such a thing. To me a learned person knows the quotes inside and out and it is not their privilege to misquote, to me it is an obligation to properly quote someone if you are going to the trouble to quote them at all. Just because a person is widely read does not give them license to get something wrong or inaccurate. Misquoting something can completely change the meaning of the quote in the first place.

Sleeping with Bread

I thought today I would list those things that over the past week I have thought about how fortunate I am to be able to live in a country that provides me with the things that in so many countries are not seen as a basic need or freedom.

• I am thankful that I have electricity and running water.

• I am thankful to have air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter.

• I am thankful for having a job.

• I am thankful to have the ability to walk into a grocery store and find anything I could possible want or need.

• I am thankful for the ability to travel freely across the United States of America.

• I am thankful for the complete religious, social and political freedom that I have living in this country.

Sunday's Sunrise Sunset

I so enjoyed last weeks Sunday's Sunrise Sunset. It brought back a great memory. So, I was trying to figure out what picture to use today and I remembered a picture I had taken coming back into Dallas from a trip to Georgia. Well, I looked for it in my tons of picture folders and didn't find it before I came across another great picture.

This picture was taken on a trip to Georgia in October of 2006. I made a quick unexpected trip home to see my parents a couple weeks before their anniversary since I knew I could not be there that year for their anniversary. We happened to visit the weekend that the Oktoberfest was being held at Ft. Gordon. So, we all went and had a great time. This picture is the sunset we witnessed as we were parking to walk over to the fest.

Friday Question

When you take your socks off, do you always use your hands to do it, or do you ever your feet?

Well, I don't do either really. I usually take off my socks standing up and I run my foot along the rug and let the rug pull them off...Don't know how or when I started this. I do the same thing if I am on the recliner. I will rub my foot along the foot of the recliner until I can get the sock off. I actually hate socks. I don't wear them at all in the summer except when I need to wear a pair of running shoes. Other than that as soon as I get home in the colder months I take them off and put my slippers on if my feet are cold, otherwise I go bare foot which is my favorite.

Booking Through Thursday

I’ve asked, in the past, about whether you more often buy your books, or get them from libraries. What I want to know today, is, WHY BUY?

Even if you are a die-hard fan of the public library system, I’m betting you have at least ONE permanent resident of your bookshelves in your house. I’m betting that no real book-lover can go through life without owning at least one book. So … why that one? What made you buy the books that you actually own, even though your usual preference is to borrow and return them?

If you usually buy your books, tell me why. Why buy instead of borrow? Why shell out your hard-earned dollars for something you could get for free?

I do buy more than I borrow. I do love to go to the library, but often times they don't have the book I want when I want it. I like to get certain books as soon as they come out. I buy it, read it, and send it to a friend reading the same series. I also buy certain books that I want to be able to refer to later, such as religious/spiritual, health and craft books.

I really value my books. I have loned books to people and then never got them back. That has hurt me and I have learned if I want someone to read something I have read I'll buy it for them instead of loning it. Amazon is a great place to buy used books that are like new and sometimes .01 with shipping of 3.00 and some change.

I Want....

I want....hmmm...you know...I just want to be happy. I believe for the most part I am. I do wish we had children of any age in our home. I get sad sometimes that we have not had the opportunity...and we have talked a lot more about adopting, but we want to adopt the older ages that have trouble getting adopted.

We love to go places and do things, and we do with in our budget. Things like that make me happy because we are learning and experiencing life together and we always have so much fun when we are together. Even yesterday just being at the house all day together we had a ball.

So, even though I have it...I still want it...I want to keep it...and I believe only I can make that happen with God working through me...So, here's to happiness and keeping it in our lives...I wish you all the happiness you want in life...

Mmm...good

Celticspirit blogged about these Butterscotch Oatmeal cookies she made and that sounded so good I just had to make them also. Follow the link and you can make them too.

Now my house smells wonderful, these taste awesome, and my husband is a very happy camper at the moment.




We saw on a program once that baking smells make men horny...hmm...we shall see...LOL

Thanks for the recipe Barb!! It's a keeper.

Through Life’s Complexities

By Dorothy Pierson

Loving Presence,

Thank You for Your flow
Of life and joy and good,
And thank You
For helping me know
That I have a place and purpose
In Your infinite plan …
That You forever take me
By the hand and lead me
To and through life’s complexities.

I talk to You, God. I listen within.
You speak with bright inspiration
In my mind—so natural—
So simply, I find
I think it is my own thinking!
But then as I look back
I see it wasn’t me;
It was You all the time!
I realize anew
That I am guided and directed by You
When I listen.

That's My Answer!

Will I be sending cards this Christmas?

Well, if you read a blog from a day or so ago you will see that I have actually been making my Christmas cards for this year. Nothing special, but for the last three years I have been making the cards and I enjoy it. If I would start in the summer I would get them the way I really want them, but I keep waiting to late. Maybe next year.

One reason I make our cards is because I want a specific message inside. Something that shares what we believe the reason for the season is, not what is generally believed by the majority of the Christian community. It is a spiritual holiday for me, not religious. I usually use iconic images of Christmas instead of a spiritual or religious image. This year I did pick up some stickers with the Holy Family and wise men and put them on some cards, but they only made it on a few. If I were an artist I might try to draw something, and maybe I can play around with that for next year.

So, this year inside the card, this is our message:

The "reason for the season," according to traditional Christian belief, is the celebration of the Christ, the man from Galilee, the Messiah, into the physical world.

We believe that it's the celebration of birth of a new way of being that's beyond the physical.

"The reason for the season" is the consciousness of Christ, and it's time now for all of us to realize that we're it!

I am not sure how many people will understand it, get it, or even agree with it, but it was what we wanted to say this year in our cards.

Celtic Spirit asked that I post some pics of my cards. So, I have, but like I said, they are nothing special. I just like the idea of making cards if I am going to bother sending them. Two years ago I bought the stuff to make the paper for the cards and I still have not done that...so, maybe this next summer I will do that project and my cards will be on "homemade" paper next year.

Sleeping with Bread

In the past week I had training classes to give using LiveMeeting at work. This was the first time I gave classes that I had originally designed for face to face training over an electronic medium where I did not have actual contact with my attendees.

I felt a little stifled and not as creative as usual. I had trouble coming up with ways for them to have hands on in this environment. This is something I will definitely have to work on because this method of providing training should become the norm with travel costs increasing and the government needing to tighten it's belt on travel budgets.

Now on the flip side I felt more creative than I have in a long time this weekend when I began creating Christmas cards to have ready to be mailed the first week of December and this weekend when I started painting some little snowman angels that my husband picked up for me to work on. I have not painted in so long and it was great picking the colors and looking at the detail to decide how I wanted to make it stand out or little details I could add or special affects. Making the cards even got me thinking about pulling out my scrapbooking stuff again. I have not really scrapped in 2 years, my last project was the Alaska trip. I have taken so, so many pics since then that just are crying to be put down in a permanent placed and have a journal done about them...

One thing I have figured out after getting started on these things this past week is that I have allowed my government job to suck my creativity out of me the last two years. I am not going to let that happen anymore...

Sunday's Sunrise Sunset

I thought I would do something different this Sunday and post a picture I took Memorial Weekend 2003. This is the year the USA attacked Iraq. My brother was called to active duty, but thankfully for our family he was able to stay state side to fill in for sailors that were sent out on the ship. He wanted to be out there too, but I was glad he was not.

He was sent to Beaufort,SC to fill in at the Naval Hospital there in a clinic. He hated this because he is a Paramedic/Fire Fighter and being in a clinic was not giving him what he is used to getting out of a job.

His wife found him a great condo on Fripp Island, which is like 15 minutes from where he was working and she got it for him at the government per Diem. So, for Memorial Weekend I came out from Kansas to visit him and my parents and we all went to Fripp Island. It was a wonderful weekend. But my best memory of the weekend is when he woke me up to come watch the sunrise with him. I will cherish that memory forever, the two of us standing out on the balcony watching the sun come up.

As we get older, busy in our daily lives, and live far apart we sometimes don't have the connections with our siblings that way may have once had, but that morning was like we had never moved away and became different people.

Thankfully now he and I talk a lot more than we had been for a long time. At least once a month, which is pretty good I think when we live so far away and how busy he is with his job, the Navy reserves, and a family that includes three very active boys.

So, here is the picture I took off the balcony that memorable morning in May of 2003 on Fripp Island.

OMG ~My First Tag~

OMG, I my sister friend has tagged me...in a million years I would not have guessed that she would do this to me because she knows I am not good at coming up with these things...but then she is just the one to force me into such a thing...so here we go.

Here are the Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on his/her website



1. I love to cook and try out new recipes. Sometimes that means something I have dreamed up on my own, or concoctions as my husband calls them. Thankfully I have been pretty successful with my concoctions and my husband is usually pleasantly surprised.

2. I love anything with fairies. I have a small collection that I am slowly drawing with special fairies that catch my heart in some way. I even have a little sprite fairy tattoo...

3. I love to play games...all types, computer, card, board, word games, strategy games, out door games...you name it...I love games....and the more people involved the better...it just makes it that much more fun

4. I love unconditionally, which often gets me hurt. My love blinds me to truth, which also gets me hurt. But I will always come back for more because God wants me to be the way I am...

5. I yearn to be creative and dabble in all types of different things, but am not a master at anything creative. I have crocheted, which I enjoy, and I have knitted, which I hate. I do ceramics, which I enjoy, and I scrapbook, which I also enjoy. I try to draw and paint, but am not very good at it and I have some starts of books that I may someday make into something real that can be published.

6. I am thinking about getting another dog, my husband don't know....but he will not complain...

Well, I don't really know to many bloggers so I will have to my sister-in-law and a new online friend, sorry Mel, but I would love to see what you have to say.

Saturday Special ~One Word To Start A Sentence Or Statement~

~One Word To Start A Sentence Or Statement~
~Fill In The Blanks~

1. Why ________.?

Why are there people out there that think they can take what they want from good people who work hard to make a living and pay their bills on time? Yeah, we can file our fraud reports and get things fixed, in the mean time it can really screw up our life while they are living high on the hog on our funds. This has happened to me and thankfully I was just a little inconvenienced, but a very good friend of mine is going through this right now and it is not boding well for her right now. The stupid WAMU can't even see some of the pending charges, but she can online. Now, can you tell me what is wrong with that picture?

2. Could ________.?

Could this week be any better...I mean really, we have elected Barack Obama to be our next President of the United States. A man whose lineage is from Africa. Slaves built the White House and finally a black man will reside in that house. I hope young African Americans see that they can accomplish anything if they work hard for it and that they don't have to result to lives of crime. This man being elected President of the United States will hopefully touch lives in ways that no other president ever has in our history.

3. Today ________.?

Today I had a good conversation with my dear friend about some deep personal stuff. I have thought about her all day since that conversation. It is difficult to watch someone you love practicing destructive behavior. Behavior that they freely admit is destructive, but they themselves cannot seem to put an end to in their lives. I am not a therapist, I can recognize the behavior, but I have not been trained with the tools needed to help her. I keep her in my prayers and hope she can eventually find her way to someone that does have the training and tools to free her from this cycle and allow her to finally live her life to the utmost.

4. Going ________.?

Going home for Christmas. At least that is the plan. I am sure my hsuband forgot the paper to request the days off...he was supposed to get it yesterday too... So, we'll shoot for tomorrow. Thankfully I will only have to take one day, Christmas Eve. I have the Holiday Excused with pay and my day off is the day after Christmas. It works out nicely. Parents don't want me to stay in a hotel, but I am going to have to...I can't stay in that little house for four days. Especially if they are smoking in there. I don't want to hurt them, but they have to realize this is for the best. And it is nice to have a few hours to ourselves. It just gets to be a bit much being with them 24/7 when we visit.

Friday 5 for November 7: Middles

1. What usually marks the middle of your day?

Hmm, the middle of my day, it you look at it from wake up to sleep would be somewhere between lunch and dinner. At this time of day I am just trying to make it to the time my husband picks me up from work. I kind of lose my mojo at this time. I should probably get up and take a walk, but I am tired..so I don't...but if I did...maybe I would not be so tired?

2. From whom (or to whom) was your most recent middle-of-the-night phone call?

My most middle recent middle of the night phone call was from a dear friend in NC. She called after 12am. I believe I did answer it, I do not believe I said much other than hello, she went on a quick spiel apologizing for not calling back earlier in the evening, said she loved me and that was it. At least that is how I remember it...It was the middle of the night and I was asleep so I cannot be held totally accountable for that memory.

3. On what social, political, economic, or moral issue are you in the middle of the road?

Wow, there are a few, but let's go with abortion. I guess you would call this the middle of the road. I believe a woman has a right to choose, but it is not a choice I would ever make or that I can easily accept. I have a dear, dear friend who made this choice and though her reasons are somewhat logical I still could not have made the choice had I been in her shoes. And I still love her, even though she made this choice. So, is that middle of the road? I think it is as I believe we all have a basic right to decide what we do with our own bodies.

4. How likely are you to give someone your middle finger?

Not to likely. I would after to be pretty pissed off to do this and usually I would rather say the "f" word before I would make a gesture. I know it is not lady like or Christian like, but it happens. I am human...and all I can do is try to not be this way, I can't promise that I won't slip once in awhile.

5. When were you last caught in the middle of a disagreement that really had nothing to do with you?

Wow, that is a hard one. I don't live near family anymore and have not in 8 years so it has been pretty easy to stay out of such things. I do get calls from my dad, other family members, or family friends that tell me things and I feel they are trying to pull me in, but being 485 miles away or more it is easy to stay neutral and not get involved. I guess the one thing that I feel in the middle of right now is a issue between my father and one of his brother's, my Uncle Bill. My Uncle Bill somehow blames my father for my Grandpa's death or at least how it all went down. I have talked to both of them about this and even tried to sooth things over, but have decided I cannot accomplish it and will just love each of them and hope that one day they will talk again.

"I Want...." Wednesday

I want...to move to GA...I know, I know...that is what I said last week. But today I had bad news...personnel did not qualify me for the job I put in for in GA. I should have qualified at the lower level and I have a feeling she did not even consider me for the lower level. I am going to push this one...I am just totally pissed. I really wanted this position for so many reasons; the biggest being that I want to go home damn it... the second being that I want to do something new...

I am starting to worry that I have gotten myself into a pigeon hole in my career and that I won't be able to cross over to something else to help me get out of here. I am not going to stop trying, but I am somewhat worried. I know I need to think this and believe this into reality, but I have not been strong with it lately. So, I need to meditate and pray more...and I will work on that.

Okay, I can't do this anymore...I am done for now...